Virtual Channel Surfing #3
Lights! Engines! Walls! Paintings! "Comedy"?
As mentioned several times over the past handful of articles, I’ve got an ever-growing backlog of tapes to digitize. Thanks to some wonderful gifts over the holidays, and some really lucky scores at thrift stores and marketplace finds, that backlog has grown to surpass my current collection on Archive.
With over 140 tapes waiting for their debut here on Diptych, it’s natural to want to push them all out all at once, but that’s not what this blog is all about. For every good tape, there are several stinkers, and I do take some pride in my work of curation and presentation.
Most of the vetting process for what makes it into my archive and onto this blog happens at the stores. A good way to rule out lots of tapes is whether or not the sleeve has a barcode. If it does, I’m much less likely to grab it, as it was a some-what commercial product, and it’s likely that others have done the work to preserve it already. However, if the tape still looks interesting, I can scan it with the same app I use to catalog my movie collection, Libib, and see if there’s any info out there.
The rest of the curation comes from watching the tapes myself. Sometimes there’s nothing on a tape worth showing y’all. I recognize that my preferences and biases can deem a tape worthless, but I still try to see what a reader of my blog with a different set of preferences might see in a tape. I feel like I have a very low bar for entertainment. I can personally enjoy watching a dull documentary in fuzzy EP mode or an instructional video on how to put up wallpaper from the 90s, but there are things that are just too boring or uninteresting.
I say all this to say that while the backlog may be overwhelming, I will continue to curate and provide interesting information (where I can) on all of the tapes slated to be digitized, and I want to thank you (the reader) for reading about and watching the tapes I find, from the weird to the dull.
Let’s get right into it then!
The Northern Lights
1992 | Runtime 45 Minutes
Since the beginning of time, people have gazed into the polar skies, spellbound by dancing beams of colour... the northern lights. Though scientists have advanced many theories to explain the aurora borealis, and aboriginal people around the northern pole have passed on their beliefs through the centuries, mysteries still linger. As the auroral curtains shimmer throughout the film, we experience a visual panorama of animated legends, international space launches, and indigenous people and scientists offering their perceptions of the wondrous northern lights.
"This well-made documentary delves into the mysteries surrounding the pale sky-fire, eschewing technical talk in favor of noting how these apparently flimsy veils of light have stimulated fear and curiosity in aboriginal peoples and philosophers alike." -- The Financial Post G. Enno University of Calgary
Engineered For Life Presented By E-One
2002 | Runtime 16 Minutes
E-ONE is the pioneer—the leader. Founded in 1974 by an industrial engineer a revolutionary concept, E-ONE designed and manufactured the first modular, extruded aluminum fire truck and body. The innovative E-ONE structure undergone extensive successful testing well beyond industry standards crush providing the highest safety and dependability our first responders. Today, E-ONE is the global full-spectrum manufacturer of pumpers, tankers, aerial ladders and platforms, rescues, industrials and ARFFs.
This was a really interesting pickup. Out in Greenville, TN at a place called Locus Spring Thrift Store, I was digging through a big box of with a little of everything in it from clothes to lamps to CDs, and this was the only tape in it. A tape sent to Fire Chiefs either upon placing the order for a new firetruck or in order to advertise the new trucks that E-One had available at the time.
Passport Travel Guide: The China Experience
1990 | Runtime 35 Minutes
Gunther Less, winner of 13 major travel journalism awards and the host of the longest running travel program on T.V., has received the prestigious Gold Award of the International Film and T.V. Festival of New York for this exciting travel guide series. China is an exhilarating and enriching experience. The land is rich with nature's splendors; vast expanses, misty hills, lush islands, magnificent gorges, scenic wonders everywhere. The people - spirited, friendly, reaching out to greet the modern world while preserving their illustrious heritage. Discover the Forbidden City, the Great Wall of China the Great Terra Cotta Army, the Grand Canal, the Si Road and so much more. Travel in China is that rare experience: thought- provoking, stimulating, immensely satisfying and a true adventure.
This has some INCREDIBLE 1980s Mainland China footage, marred only by its SLP (super long play) quality. The weirdest part is when they show the panda on the tricycle at the circus.
The Thomas Kincade 1997 Christmas Celebration
1997 | Runtime 30 Minutes
Welcome to the delightful world of THOMAS KINKADE Painter of Light!
Thomas Kinkade is widely regarded as the foremost living painter of light. Well known for infusing his paintings with a radiant, warm glow, commonly known as the "Kinkade glow," Thomas Kinkade has been widely honored as an internationally published artist.
He is regularly featured in well known magazines and radio talk shows throughout the country and as a guest on popular TV network shows. Kinkade's impressive list of honors is continually growing. Included are: 1992-1996 Lithograph of the Year Awards, 1994 Artist of the Year and 1995 and 1996 Graphic Artist of the Year, as presented by the National Association of Limited Edition Dealers (NALED), and 1994 Collector Editions Award of Excellence. He also was inducted in 1995, along with fellow artist and humanitarian Norman Rockwell, into the International Hall of Fame of the Bradford Plate Museum.
Certainly you’ve seen some of Thomas Kincade’s Paintings, but have you ever see what He looked like? Unbelievable!
Assessing Your Risk For Breast Cancer by Zeneca Pharmaceuticals
1999 | Runtime 20 Minutes
Breast cancer is one of the diseases women fear the most. That's why it’ great that you pushed your way past that natural anxiety we all feel... and picked up the phone to call for this video. In this video, you'll learn all about the risk factors for breast cancer... and about a new way for you and your doctor to assess your own personal risk. After you watch the video, be sure to look at the materials enclosed in the pocket. They'll give you even more support as you begin to learn about your risks... and your new options.
The information provided in this tape is incredibly outdated, but the real sin of this one is how bad the acting is!
James Gregory's Grease, Gravy, And John Wayne's Momma
1994 | Runtime 75 minutes
A hilarious, side splitting, politically incorrect comedy video!
A refreshing look at:
spotted owls, role models, fried food, environmentalists, victims, gun control, health foods, cry babies, etc
Jerry Baker's House Plant Tips And Tricks
1984 | Runtime 35 Minutes
Is your dracaena drooping? Has your ficus seen better days? Here's America's master gardener, Jerry Baker, to the rescue with a step-by-step, commonsense video guide to the care and feeding of house plants. Author of the best sellers Talk to Your Plants and Plants Are Like People, Baker has established himself as the leading authority on plant care. Baker takes the guesswork out of house plant care as he demonstrates practical tips and tricks for healthy and happy plants.
Learn how to select healthy plants that fit your environment, choose and clean the proper containers, select commercial plant food (or make your own), transplant correctly, avoid common watering and feeding mistakes, and control insects and disease without hassles. Baker gives advice on controlling humidity, circulation, and lighting to create an environment in which your plants will thrive. "After all," he says, "plants are like people; give them fresh air, sunshine, a balanced diet, and TLC." Your plants will thank you for it.
Jerry Baker is the author of more than 35 books on plants and gardening. He hosts his own nationally syndicated radio show, and is a frequent guest on TV and radio talk shows such as The Tonight Show, Donahue, and PM Magazine.
Tony Van Hasselt Demonstrating The Building Blocks Of Painting
1999 | Runtime 45 minutes
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT PAINTING?"
If you've ever voiced that question, this video is for you. Its goal is to help you create better watercolors, oils or pastels. Avoid the eight recurring stumbling blocks and use them as building blocks for better paintings, regardless of style. In this two-part video lecture, Tony van Hasselt shows how artists through the ages have passed down their knowledge and experience. Although styles have changed, this advice about design and composition is valid and used today. Since artists are visually oriented, van Hasselt has taken most of these tried and true principles, wrapped them into neat bundles and designed an instantly recognizable symbol for each. The result? The visual Building Blocks of Painting, which will help you to analyze problems in existing work and keep you on track during the painting process. Works by John Singer Sargent, Mary Cassatt, John Pike, Edgar A. Whitney as well as present day painters like Ron Ranson, Frank Webb, Milford Zornes and others, show how these painting and design principles are used.
Well, that’s it for this edition of Virtual Channel Surfing! I hope you enjoyed the tapes! If you’re looking for more, please check out my page on Archive.org for the full list of digitized media. If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message right here or drop a comment below. If you haven’t already, why not check out some of my previous work like this triple feature of high seas adventures or any of my other previous posts here. Thanks so much for checking out this week’s edition of Diptych!
See you soon!
—Forrest
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