The Eleventh Day:
"An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television, but not when you get it home."
The winter holidays truly do make this time of year special. There’s lots of pretty lights to look at, parties, family get-togethers —mid-late December really turns out to be incredibly busy every year. As the years go on and the snow melts and falls and melts again, I think it’s easy to overlook the most important part of the Christmas season: kitchen gadgets.
There’s nothing quite like receiving a kitchen gadget as a gift. It’s like the ultimate “I’m not sure what you’re into” gift, as it can often be a surprisingly useful addition to the kitchen drawers. Several years ago, a friend of mine, whom I’d just recently made friends with, re-gifted (not derogatory) an AeroPress coffee maker to me, which I’d never tried out before. It’s become one of my favorite ways to make coffee.
I thought this might be a good time to show off some tapes involving cooking or kitchen gadgets. I’ve had a handful of these in the backlog for awhile, and the season has me thinking about salad spinners and under-the-cabinet jar openers.
Growing up, one of my favorite infomercials was this one for the Magic Bullet. I would watch it whenever something more interesting wasn’t on (Nicktoons), but thanks to my irregular sleep schedule, it was always easy to find it, often on multiple channels that ran early morning Paid Programming, just before the rest of the world was waking up.
I have no idea how many times I’ve watched it. Hundreds, probably, if I’m being honest. There’s no semblance of realism between the family members, like, they don’t even try to make them come across as actually related, and worse, each is their own stereotype. The newlywed watching her weight, the drunk uncle, the gruff grandma, the mom with no time — everyone is here and they all want their breakfast turned into baby food so it’s easier to eat.
I loved this infomercial so much that one day my mom came home from the grocery store with a Magic Bullet set. I thought it was only available through the TV, so I was floored when she brought it home. I’m not exactly sure what a 12 year old with very little cooking experience could possibly use that for, but over the years I’ve grown to really like it and I use it often. It’s especially good at chipping ice for frozen drinks, making salsa, and I’ve even used it to grind coffee when I had to. It’s almost 20 years old and still kicking; I use it several times a week.
From bread makers to food processors, this week, I’ve got a selection of tapes that covers only a small portion of the immense kitchen gadget business, as well as a couple Cajun cooking tapes that might have you re-thinking your holiday food traditions. Anyways, let’s get right into the tapes!
Breadman: Your Guide to Healthy Bread Baking Video Manual
1995 | Runtime: 15 Minutes
Learn to bake fresh, hot, homemade bread with this step-by-step, easy to follow video.
Cuisinart How-To Video
For The Premier Series 14 And 11 Cup Capacity Food Processors
2001 | Runtime: 45 Minutes
The longest running, best performing food processor in America has taken on a whole new look and a brand new function.
Get comfortable as we show you just what your sleek new Cuisinart Premier Series Food Processor with its exclusive Dough Control Feature can do. From food prep to perfect bread, it will change the way you think about cooking.
We'll take you through the simple setup, share valuable tips and techniques, and then bring in an award-winning supporting cast to demonstrate the multiple talents of this phenomenal food preparation appliance.
Bill Briwa, Chef-Instructor of the Culinary Institute of America, will walk you through some of his favorite recipes from your Instruction and Recipe Books.
Then bread artisan Charlie van Over will show you how to make pizza dough and his own baguettes, hailed by the New York Times as "the touchstone by which all others are judged."
It's a show you won't want to miss!
George Foreman's Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine Video Recipes
1995 | Runtime: 20 Minutes
George Forman, Heavy Weight World Champion and Olympic Gold Medalist loves his burgers! Protein is an important part of any nutritional plan.
During this video, we show you great recipes with no added fat prepared on the Grilling Machine.
Vita Mix QuickStart Instructional Video
1997 | Runtime: 30 Minutes
The model demonstrated in this video may differ slightly in appearance from your model.
Chef Paul Prudhomme's Louisiana Kitchen Vol. 1
Complete Cajun Meal Featuring Blackened Redfish
1986 | Runtime: 32 Minutes
Chef Paul Prudhomme, America's own master of Cajun cooking, takes you to Cajun country, to New Orleans' French Quarter and into his kitchen.
In a simple yet masterful demonstration, he shows you how to prepare a complete Cajun meal including Blackened Redfish (his own creation), Bread Pudding, Mama's Yeast Bread, Cajun Popcorn and even his own twist on the pre-dinner cocktail, the Cajun Martini.
You'll visit K-Paul's, a plain, 15-table restaurant that's become a Mecca for food enthusiasts from around the globe. You'll hear the good-time Cajun music, see the smiles and understand immediately why Chef Paul's assistant said this about Cajun cooking: "When it's in my belly, I wanna fly! When it leaves my belly, I wanna die!"
Along the way, you'll learn where Cajun cooking originated, how it's evolved and why it's America's most popular Regional Cuisine. Even more, you'll sense the pure joy of good eating.
Each video is accompanied by a detailed recipe booklet containing step-by-step directions for preparing the dishes you see on the video.
Chef Paul Prudhomme's Louisiana Kitchen Vol. 2
Cajun & Creole Classics
1986 | Runtime: 36 Minutes
Life Magazine calls Louisiana Cooking "an American cuisine that is trendy, earthily fresh, hellishly hot and heavenly." And Paul Prudhomme is its greatest authority and practitioner.
Now you can prepare these main dishes Chicken, Andouille Smoked Sausage and Tasso, Blackened Prime Rib, and Chicken and Andouille Gumbo and even the fabled Cajun roux. They're among the most popular items at K-Paul's, a plain, 15-table restaurant that's become a Mecca for food enthusiasts from around the globe.
With simple yet masterful demonstration, Chef Paul gives you the colors, the textures, the tastes and aromas of Cajun and Creole cooking. You'll see the smiles, hear the Cajun music and catch the "let the good times roll" feeling of Louisiana.
Along the way, you'll visit Cajun country, New Orleans' French Quarter and K-Paul's itself. You'll learn where
Cajun and Creole cooking originated, how they evolved and why they've become America's most popular Regional Cuisines. Even more, you'll sense the pure joy of good eating.
Each video is accompanied by a detailed recipe booklet containing step-by-step directions for preparing the dishes you see on the video.
Well, that’s it for this week! I hope you enjoyed the tapes! If you’re looking for more, please check out my page on Archive.org for the full list of digitized media. If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message right here or drop a comment below. If you haven’t already, please check out the one of my previous posts below, or all of my other previous posts here. Thanks so much for checking out this week’s edition of Diptych!
See you soon!
—Forrest
This seems like as good a time as any to say Merry Christmas, Forrest. Watching these tapes has brought me a terrific amount of joy this year. Your selections and dedication to providing entertainment that doesn't exist anywhere else is important to me. And I'm sure it's important to others just like me. Have a great holiday season. I look forward to each post. Your friend, Key.
Merry Christmas!